Self-lighting bong a hit

Kamyelle Powell
April 1, 2009
Filed under April Fool's

All you bong tokers and midnight smokers, there’s a new product out there that will revolutionize the way you smoke your grass: Mr. Smoke-N-Speak 5000, a self-lighting bong. It’s the next best thing to cheese fries.

When the product first hit Wal-Mart stores, I was extremely excited and wanted to try it out immediately. So when the idea of this product review came about, my little stoner legs hopped on it really quick.

I went to the nearest Wal-Mart, and they had an array of colors to choose from like black, pink, purple, rainbow and several others. Well, I got a pink one because it was pretty and easy to hide in case the cops came.

I paid $19.99 for it. I like to believe it’s the best $20 I have ever spent. So, instead of waiting to go home, I found the nearest park and decided to toke there.

I pulled it out of the package and gazed at it in all its magnificent glory. It was very sleek and easy to hold. The bong was glass not plastic, which I thought was a great deal.

I filled the base up to the line with water just like you’re supposed to. The easy part is it has a designated line, so that you don’t fill it up too much or too little. It’s just right.

Then I put some of my Juicy Fruit Kush in it. I thought I would use the good stuff. I pressed the button on the side of the bong like the directions insisted on the user doing.

All of a sudden, a little door underneath the base opened up, and a little tiny BIC lighter popped out and ignited all by itself.

It then lifted itself to the bowl and lit itself and a little electronic voice told me to hit it. It said various other phrases, too. They were like this: “Go, go, go,” and “Take it all.”

After I completely cleared it, the voice from inside said, “Thank you and please come again.”

I was so enthralled by this that I decided to hit it again and laugh along with the sounds that my self-lighting bong was making.

Mr. Smoke-N-Speak 5000 was the best product that I have ever bought; it has so many good qualities. It hits nice and has an extremely easy clean up.

I give this product 10 out of five stars. It’s great family fun!

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