By Rachel Cribbs
Editor in Chief

I love cowboys. It’s official; I love cowboys. I have never seen so many good looking guys concentrated in one place in my life. Where are these hot guys in tight jeans? The Kern County Fair Rodeo of course.
The Friday night PRCA Rodeo at the fair was amazing. The night included team roping, professional bull riding and steer wrestling. Now, you must understand, I have never been to a rodeo and I didn’t know what to expect. But this rodeo kept me on the edge of my seat. I couldn’t wait for the next rider and certainly didn’t want the night to end. I kept asking Alyssa, the photographer who went with me to zoom in on certain cowboys with her camera.
The events moved along pretty quickly, with silly banter between the Mcs while the cowboys got ready to perform. One MC was a little clown named Charlie “Too Tall” West. He is a dwarf and kept the crowd pumped by telling jokes and throwing t-shirts into the audience. Hey, what do you call a bull with no legs? Ground beef!
West was also put in a Coors Light barrel during the bull riding sections of the program. He made silly comments when a bull came at him, but fortunately he was never hit. West made the show really funny with his endless jokes about being small. He hoped some of the winners would loan him some of their cash because he’s a “little short.”
Among the events was a bareback riding contest. This is where the cowboy has to ride a bucking horse bareback for eight seconds. Most of the guys made it except for one, Shawn Dudley from Utah. He was thrown from his horse and kicked in the head on his way down. Dudley was knocked unconsious and was taken to the hospital by Hall Ambulance.
Well, after like thirty minutes he was taken to the hospital. It took the EMTs an eternity to respond to the call for help. I can’t think why, I mean, the ambulance was parked maybe ten feet from the ring. You’d think they would be paying attention to the man riding the bucking bovine, but no, they were too busy paying the concession stand for a soda.
Luckily Dudley’s fall was the most intense moment in the show, and the crowd showed their support for him by clapping when he was finally put in the ambulance. A few other riders were nicked by their rides when they were thrown, but all walked away. Good for them because Hall Ambulance was probably not worried about anyone else, they were too busy trying to remember their lessons in order to help Dudley.
One event that I really enjoyed was the steer wrestling. This is the only one-man event where a cowboy can have a partner. A cow is let loose and the cowboy must jump from his horse, catch the cow by the horns and force it to the ground, barehanded. The partner is used to keep the cow running straight so the cowboy can catch it. Wow, I wish a cowboy would catch me.
But being an animal rights person myself I thought this event would be awful, but the cowboys are surprisingly gentle with the cows. The only problem I had with this event was it was hard to keep up with who got what score, well it wasn’t only this event. I got maybe a handful of scores from the whole night.
The only event where I got all the scores was the Women’s Barrel racing contest. This event was really neat because the rider has to ride around three barrels and have the least amount of time. This takes quite a bit of precision riding and concentration. It was also good to see women involved in the male dominated sport of rodeo.
One event that I didn’t really understand is the Saddlebronc contest. I thought it was the bareback event because the cowboy rode the horse bareback, and he has to stay on until the eight second whistle. Isn’t that the same event? I don’t know what the difference was, but it was still fun to watch.
The rodeo included children as well as professional riders. Children under the age of 15 were allowed to compete in the CJBRA junior bulls competition. This is just a miniature of big bull riding. I didn’t like this one as much as professional bull riding. Why would you let your 15-year-old son on some mad cow? Leave that stuff to the professional guys who don’t rely on their parents for life insurance.
One thing I don’t understand is why the riders have to stay on for eight seconds. What an arbitrary number. Why not make it nine seconds? Or how about seven seconds? I’m sure there is some reason behind it, but being the cowgirl poser that I am, I have no idea. If anyone knows, feel free to email me and give me the story behind this eight second thing.
Anyway, the night ended with the strangest thing I’ve ever seen. It’s called Bullpokwer. This event paid $500 to the last man sitting at the table. Yeah, I thought it was strange too until I saw it. Four cowboys sat at a poker table while a bull is let loose in the ring. Two clown-like men were put in the ring to piss the bull off and make him charge the four sitting men. They went through three bulls before they had a winner.
Wow that job would suck don’t you think? Your boss comes up to you and says,
“Ok, your job tonight is to make some bull so mad that he’ll charge this table of defenseless cowboys. Oh, and by the way, he might chase you too. Have fun!” I don’t think they could pay me enough money to do that. Sure I want to be with the cowboys, but I certainly don’t want to be chopped up by some bull. I like my seats in the safe media section thank you very much.
The MC kept playing all sorts of cool music you wouldn’t think to hear at a rodeo. I went in ready to hear George Strait, Garth Brooks and maybe even some Kid Rock with his “I wanna be a Cowboy baby.” But I was pleasantly surprised. He played everything from Queen’s “We will rock you” to “Jump, jive and wail” by Brian Setzer. The crowd was kept rocking as we watched the cowboys try to tame the wild beasts.
Even though it was difficult to keep track of who was who or who was winning what, I didn’t care. This rodeo rocked. The rodeo has everything, hot cowboys, angry cows and kicking music. I love the rodeo and I can’t wait for next year when it comes back. I’m sorry, but I’m hooked.