2008 Woodie Awards
Gluttony okay during fair time
From corn dogs to smoothies, the fair offers many fatty but appetizing selection to indulge in every year.
Earl Parsons
Issue date: 9/26/07 Section: Features
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The Kern County Fair's happening, so you know what that means. It's time to quit cutting calories and start shoveling hoards of greasy, gooey and sugary food down your gluttonous faces.
Don't feel guilty about it. We've all been there. We've all been wolfing down a couple hot dogs and realized halfway through how gross it looks when we watch that Japanese guy do it on the Fourth of July.
And for the sake of informative opinionated journalism (and because I really have no shame) I did it as well.
I started off my voyeur into the reckless disregard for my own health with a KC fair must-have: a good-ole-fashioned corn dog. I decided to buy the foot-long corn dog at the Hot Dog On A Stick booth because I was feeling a little bit Texas that day. In retrospect, I should've just gone with a regular-sized corn dog.
The batter was crispy, yet tender, and blended well with the ketchup and mustard located in giant tubs next to the booth. However, the hot dog inside tasted a little bit chalky, like when you're camping and you're too lazy to start a fire, so you just open the pack of Bar-S chicken/turkey/mystery meat and eat away.
I had heard about the deep-fried Twinkie but thought it was just a myth created by people who put lawn furniture in their deep fryers. To my surprise, it was right there at the funnel cake booth, so I just had to check it out.
Surprisingly, I found it to be alright. Crunchy, creamy, it's all you could ask for with regards to fair food.
Between the Lego architecture exhibits and a free polka band with a geriatric vibe in the audience, I had a hankering for some nachos.
The faux-Mexican villa located near the midway wasn't open yet, so I went to the Progresista booth instead.
The nachos there were great. It had crispy chips that didn't come out of a bag and warm cheese that didn't come out of a pouch. In the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."
The Boy Scout Troop 188 booth shaped like a hat piqued my interest.
Don't feel guilty about it. We've all been there. We've all been wolfing down a couple hot dogs and realized halfway through how gross it looks when we watch that Japanese guy do it on the Fourth of July.
And for the sake of informative opinionated journalism (and because I really have no shame) I did it as well.
I started off my voyeur into the reckless disregard for my own health with a KC fair must-have: a good-ole-fashioned corn dog. I decided to buy the foot-long corn dog at the Hot Dog On A Stick booth because I was feeling a little bit Texas that day. In retrospect, I should've just gone with a regular-sized corn dog.
The batter was crispy, yet tender, and blended well with the ketchup and mustard located in giant tubs next to the booth. However, the hot dog inside tasted a little bit chalky, like when you're camping and you're too lazy to start a fire, so you just open the pack of Bar-S chicken/turkey/mystery meat and eat away.
I had heard about the deep-fried Twinkie but thought it was just a myth created by people who put lawn furniture in their deep fryers. To my surprise, it was right there at the funnel cake booth, so I just had to check it out.
Surprisingly, I found it to be alright. Crunchy, creamy, it's all you could ask for with regards to fair food.
Between the Lego architecture exhibits and a free polka band with a geriatric vibe in the audience, I had a hankering for some nachos.
The faux-Mexican villa located near the midway wasn't open yet, so I went to the Progresista booth instead.
The nachos there were great. It had crispy chips that didn't come out of a bag and warm cheese that didn't come out of a pouch. In the words of Forrest Gump, "that's all I have to say about that."
The Boy Scout Troop 188 booth shaped like a hat piqued my interest.
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