‘Real Boy’ Q&A talks LGBTQ struggles

Director Shaleece Haas and SAGA advocate Jack Backover conduct “Real Boy” Q&A.

Jesse Najera

Director Shaleece Haas and SAGA advocate Jack Backover conduct “Real Boy” Q&A.

Ambria King, Reporter

The Bakersfield College Sexual and Gender Acceptance club, or SAGA, and California Humanities screened the awardwinning documentary, “Real Boy,” on March 16 in Forum 101 East.

One would have been hardpressed to find an open seat as the audience was filled with more than 100 faculty members, members of the LGBTQ community, and allies who came out to show their support and watch the film, which chronicled a young transgender man named Bennett Wallace over a period of four years.

Immediately following the film was a panel discussion with the film’s director Shaleece Haas, senior program officer at California Humanities John Lightfoot, and SAGA member Jack Backover, who is also transgender.

While the film highlighted the physical and emotional difficulties Wallace faced during his transition, it also explored the complexities of family relationships, the struggles of addiction, and the importance of having a support system through difficult times.

The film showcased the difficulties that coming to terms with gender identity can have, not only on the one who is transitioning, but on the family as well. In the beginning of the film, there is tension between Wallace and his mother, Suzy Reinke, as she struggles to come to terms with her child’s transition and learn to accept Wallace’s gender identity.

The film also highlights the deep bonds that Wallace has built with those outside of his family who are more supportive of his transition. Joe Stevens, a guitarist and vocalist in the band Coyote Grace, who is also transgender, becomes Wallace’s mentor and confidant. The relationship between Wallace and Stevens was one of the main focal points of the film.

“I was just really moved by the relationship and the friendship between Joe and Bennett. In LGBT communities, there’s a long tradition of chosen family, whether our families support us or don’t,” said Haas. “I was struck and moved by the way Joe and Ben were showing up for each other. … I met Bennett’s mom, Suzy, and things expanded and I realized there was a story about both given and chosen family, and those intersections.”

By the end of the film, Wallace, Reinke and Stevens all embarked on their own unique journeys, worked through many different struggles, and came out stronger in the end. Wallace and his mother are able to rebuild their relationship, and both learn to love and accept each other, even when they don’t fully understand each other.

As the lights came back on in the auditorium, the film received a round of applause, and a few audience members could be seen wiping tears from their eyes.

During the panel discussion, many audience members opened up about their own experiences of either being transgender themselves or having friends and family members who are transgender, and how they’ve been affected.

“I think for a lot of us when we realize that we are transgender, we find that it’s a spark, and it immediately begins to turn into a fire.

“We’re so excited to have found a solution, because for a lot of us the only other solution is suicide,” said Backover.

Transgender individuals are far more likely to attempt suicide in comparison to those who aren’t transgender. They also experience higher rates of discrimination and abuse.

According to the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation, or GLAAD, 41 percent of transgender people polled reported attempting suicide at one point in their life, compared to 1.6 percent of the general population.

Transgender people are also four times as likely to live in poverty, and twice as likely to struggle with unemployment. Ninety percent of transgender people polled report experiencing harassment, mistreatment, or discrimination on the job, and transgender individuals still cannot serve in the U.S. military.

According to Backover, community support plays a pivotal role when it comes to ensuring that transgender individuals get the assistance and support that they need.

“The community here in Bakersfield is really strong for how small it is. We all really support each other as much as we can. I think a lot of people’s families don’t support them. We have a high volume of trans youth who are homeless because their families didn’t support them,” said Backover.

Despite Bakersfield’s strong and supportive LGBT community, the city is still under-served when it comes to having medical professionals who are able and willing to assist transgender patients who want access to hormone treatments and/ or surgery.

“We’ve been trying to get a doctor to come and work from our little center so that people don’t have to go out into these clinics where they’re being turned away every day. We go in and they tell us, ‘oh we don’t do that.’ We face a lot of obstacles,” said Backover.

Transgender Bakersfield residents who wish to receive hormone therapy often have to travel to the Bay Area in order to receive those services.

Toward the end of the panel discussion, one audience member brought up the topic of trans-regret, which is when those who have started or completed the process of physically transitioning genders change their mind and begin to regret their choices.

“We have to go through two to three years of therapy prior to beginning the transitioning process,” Backover replied. “It is not an easy thing. You can’t just go and transition, no matter how much money you have. You have to have been transitioning and living as your preferred gender publicly for more than two years before you can even consider starting the medical transitioning process.”

Haas said that “generally speaking, a lot of the pushback that people experience is due to a lack of acceptance, not regret.”

In many cases of trans-regret, the regret is due to either botched surgery that causes a loss of sensation, or the individual still not being able to pass as their preferred gender, despite receiving hormone therapy and/or surgery.

Bakersfield is also under-served when it comes to resources for family members of transgender individuals. “It is a transition for their [family members] as well,” said Backover.

“My mother told me that if there was a group she could go to with other parents of transgender kids, she would go.”

Many people in the audience who were family members of transgender individuals agreed that they, too, had to go through a transitioning process, and that they wished there were more local resources available to them.

Backover stated, “I often refer people to PFLAG.org. It’s a great resource for friends, family, and allies.”

The panel discussion also allowed audience members to pose questions to Haas about the film, and to express their appreciation for her work.

“Some of the most amazing responses that I’ve received have been from parents of trans kids in places where there’s not a lot of community support,” said Haas.

She went on to express what has been the most fulfilling part of making this film.

“When people in the community who said, ‘I went into this film with a preconceived notion of what I thought about trans people, and it’s changed my mind,’ that feels so gratifying to be a part of that process.”

“Real Boy” has been shown at over 70 festivals in 20 countries. It has won more than 15 awards, and has been translated into five languages.

For those who want to watch the film, but were unable to attend the showing, “Real Boy” will air on PBS on June 19. It will also be available for free streaming on PBS.org beginning June 19 and for one week thereafter.