The Rip compares the incomparable: Oranges vs. Apples

Staff
March 14, 2012
Filed under Opinions

By Metiqua Eng

Apples

 

Apples vs. Oranges. It’s the historic rivalry that still leaves people with the solid question of, “Which one is my favorite?” But why question when it’s evident that most people fall into the category of team apple.

From the tasty delight of caramel apples, apple cider, apple sauce or all-time favored apple juice, the scrumptious temptation of the apple stems all the way back to Adam and Eve with its alluring sweetness.  The apple is so tantalizing that Adam couldn’t resist taking a bite.

But does this mean the apple is the most wicked of all fruit through its illustrious appeal? No, the apple is just so appetizing that one would be bizarre not to covet the most desired fruit.

Why do you think that New York City is called “The Big Apple?”  The city has attraction, and it’s fascinating as well as alluring.  No one calls New York City “The Big Orange!”

Many could argue that an orange is delightful and sweet, but can you even enjoy that sweetness?  What’s the first thing you have to do when eating an orange?  Peel it. It feels like it will take a decade just to unravel the complexity of an orange peel.  Why waste the time?  Why waste the energy?  By the time an orange is halfway peeled, I’m exhausted and I’ve lost my appetite.

That’s when I look over to see a shiny refined apple staring me in the face saying, “Eat me! Eat me!”  And in half the time it takes to peel an orange I’ve already halfway eaten my yummy apple.

Not only can it be a healthy treat to start your day with, but you can also easily turn an apple into a nice evening treat.  Nothing quite compliments caramel like a crunchy, sweet apple underneath its silky goodness.

The apple also comes in different colors and tastes. The appetite for sweetness can be stimulated in a red apple or the thirst for a hint of sour sweet delight can be found in a green apple. Either way, it’s the best of both worlds.

Some of the greatest benefits of an apple are all the rich vitamins and nutrients that it offers.  An orange only offers the simplicity of Vitamin C when an apple offers Vitamin A, Vitamin C, Iron and anti-oxidants.

Being that an apple isn’t nearly as acidic as an orange, it won’t eat away at your teeth or cause acid indigestion inside your stomach.  It can also benefit health tremendously as it has been proven that eating apples reduce blood cholesterol, improve bowel function, and reduce risk of stroke, prostate cancer, asthma and type II diabetes.  But all health mumbo jumbo put aside, whether team apple or team orange, it is apparent the apple dominates over all and is defined as Mother Nature’s sweetest temptation.

By: Ruben Perez

Oranges

Apples and oranges have been compared for years, but the answer is obvious, oranges are better. First off, the fruit came before the color. That’s right, oranges are so awesome they get a color named after them. Oranges are the superior fruit because they are healthier, last longer and don’t bruise. Oranges have seven nutrients in them, which makes them the healthier than apples that just have fiber and other less important nutrients.

An apple a day will only keep the doctor away if you’re chucking it at him. If you are throwing apples be prepared to clean because they make a mess. Unlike oranges, they tend to splatter when you throw them at people. Also, apples leave bruises so you can get in trouble if you’re hitting kids with apples at school. Plus oranges don’t leave bruises so whomever you hit has no proof you were chucking oranges at them.

Also on the topic of bruising, if you drop an apple, they bruise or sometimes break, because they’re so freaking delicate.

If you drop an orange it stays intact, doesn’t bruise, and it’s protected by a peel so you can still eat it or throw it at someone eating an apple.

If you’re hot and you have to choose which fruit is going to cool you down, you don’t choose a lame apple, you take the orange and eat it like a real man.

Apples are not very juicy and are kind of a pain seeing as how you have to eat around the center.

You can just peel and eat oranges, or if you’re a real man you can cut open your orange with your pocketknife. Orange juice is also better than apple juice in taste, convenience and health.

Commercials always say you can have a glass of orange juice a day and you’re good to go. Why don’t they do this with apple juice? How the hell do you even get the juice out of an apple? With an orange you can just squeeze and you’re good to go. Orange juice is basically an orange on the go. This is probably why it’s more available to us, unlike apple juice.

If apple juice was any good it would be served at places like Denny’s or McDonalds, but it isn’t.  Another reason apples are bad is because they are a gateway for school kids to get high. You can put a hole in the top and the side of an apple and smoke drugs out of it.

With their bad reputation, apples are not even worthy of having a soda. Who loves orange soda? Everyone loves orange soda. It’s true. Whether it’s trying to be a juice or a convenient snack, the apple just falls short compared to the orange, as it should.

Comments

Feel free to leave a comment...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!