Officers from the Bakersfield Police Department responded to a report of gunshots in the 9000 block of Carvalho Court in the pre-dawn hours Wednesday morning. They discovered a victim lying dead in the road.
The victim, Mr. E. Bunny, a four-century old mythological holiday symbol, was pronounced dead at the scene from apparent gunshot wounds to the chest.
Cinnamon Sparkles, 32, a resident of the neighborhood, heard the crime take place. “Like, I was just getting to sleep because I worked the late session last night,” said Sparkles. “And there were like three loud bangs.”
She reported that she then heard a car speed away followed by a strange squealing scream that was “real loud” at first but then trailed off.
Phydeaux McDealer, 22, was conducting late night business in the park across the street when the incident took place. “This car pulled up to the dude. I saw some flashes, then they drove off,” McDealer said. “The dude they shot kind of hopped a couple times then just fell over dead.”
Authorities stated that it is still too soon to say if there is a connection to last week’s killing of Luck E. Leprechaun, who was gunned down outside a local sports bar last week. “There are similarities,” Detective John E. Law, of the BPD mythological crimes unit, said. “But as of now, we are treating this as a separate crime.”
Law stated that crimes of this nature are not unheard of, but it is rare to see this type of violence. “You get your share of domestic disputes between the elves from the North Pole,” he said. “But I can’t remember ever having two killings like this so close together.”