We’ve seen the debates, the rallies, countless hours of news coverage and seen all the articles of controversy. Through all of this, it has provided one simple thing: complete boredom.
Politics can save any person suffering from insomnia and only give true entertainment to the elderly and those with no lives. With our technological age growing more while watching the world around us evolve in every aspect imaginable, it’s time that politics got on the train of change with a new way to determine which candidate you favor.
I believe political candidates should do the same thing we do with washed up celebrities: Put ’em on reality TV shows!
That’s right, I’m pitching the first- ever “Political Survivor,” made completely for our entertainment.
First, we take all the candidates from each party and drop them on a deserted island, feeding them only rice and low-calorie food.
The “contestants” must compete by doing extreme stunts in order to stay on the island. Only instead of awarding them with prizes of gourmet food or money, we give them a great helping of moose penis and a subscription to the “How to look good and still be over 50” newsletter.
One of the challenges for candidates would be to win the heart of hot, young female registered voters who could contribute millions to their campaigns.
The catch is that none of the females has a dime and are not U.S. citizens.
After being made to look like fools time and again and being eliminated by Donald Trump for not using their leadership skills well enough, the final two contestants must duke it out in a boxing ring at Caesars Palace completely covered in marmalade.
During training for the final fight, we get to see behind the scenes coverage of what they really think about issues facing America. We’ll also see whether they decide that the intern they recently slept with should be paid off or murdered with all denial of ever knowing her existence.
The winner of “Political Survivor” doesn’t get to win the election, but he or she does get to say they are a braver, cuter and better leader than the others while eating more moose penis than those other wussies could choke down. It may not get them that Chief of Power position but, at least, it can buy something nothing else can … a chance to host their own reality show!
This may seem like a crazy gantlet to have our elected officials go through, but if we expect people from all over the United States to compete in this kind of stuff, then why not the leader of our country?
After all, they have to set an example, and it beats watching them lie about how they’re going to make the country better. I’d rather see Bush and Kerry down some moose penis any day than watch another boring debate.
Besides, it doesn’t matter how bad the candidate is. The contender could be caught with a dead body, and the supporters will just believe it was propaganda from the opposing side.
I have noticed that Democrats vote for Democrats and Republicans vote for Republicans no matter how much the candidate is not fit for the position of president.