When I hear of a 15-year-old child getting shot in a driveby, it concerns me. Being a mother, it frightens me.
Considering the event, I can only imagine how safe we are in the streets of Bakersfield. Statistics have shown that the majority of the violence in Bakersfield involves our youth. Most of the killings in Bakersfield are gang related, and this detrimental violence is only increasing instead of decreasing. When you drive through the city of Bakersfield, it is hard to conceive of the violence that takes place there after viewing the tranquil southwest region.
A shooting that occurred in southeast Bakersfield near a school in August 2005 took the life of a 15-year-old bystander. One of his friends said that the boy’s involvement with a gang contributed to his death.
“I’ve lived here for so long I’m used to the shootings,” said the friend. “It’s not safe anywhere anymore. It does not matter what part of town you live in. There’s going to be some kind of violence.
“My generation is growing up too fast. The kids of the year 2005 are only interested in smoking weed or having babies. It’s very rare to find a teenager that’s into the books.”
As a parent do you find this disturbing? In my opinion, once we get something started in Bakersfield and the town doesn’t follow through, it is like putting a stew on the back burner and forgetting about it. There are many activities in Bakersfield our youth can take advantage of, and as a community we need to motivate our children. It is important for parents to realize that children, too, are people.
What can you do when your kids won’t listen? My advice is to stop being their friend and start being their parent. The first step in proper parenting is to set boundaries and give them limitations. For starters, give them a curfew and be sure to enforce it. Furthermore, make sure that you hold to your word. Let them know you are the parent. Let your “yes” mean “yes” and your “no” mean “no.”
As parents, we need to find out children’s interest – what they like and what they dislike. It is important to ask them how their day went and let them know they matter. It doesn’t hurt to say to them “I love you” every now and then.
Remember, Mother or Father are just titles. Anyone can be a mother or father. Put your love into action. Get them involved in some kind of after-school programs. Churches have youth programs, and there are after-school activities where they can get help with homework. There’s a Boys Club and a Girls Club, and a YMCA.
There’s so much for them to do. Let’s not forget about our youth. They are our next generation. Nothing is impossible. It can be done in the year 2005 as well.