It is tragic when murder is committed, and it is more unfathomable when mothers lose all concepts of reality and take the lives of their own flesh and blood … their children.
Many of us recall the sad story of Andrea Yates, who drowned her children in a bathtub, or you may be following the current story of missing Caylee Anthony, who was not reported missing until after 21 days and is still missing today.?There are cases involving children who faced death through burning, hangings, decapitation, suffocation, poisoning and being stoned to death, all by the hands of the mother.
It is a misconception that the leading cause of infant mortality is SIDS or abductions.? According to a study by the American Anthropological Association, homicides exceed more that 200 per year in the U.S. and many involve women killing their babies.
My breath is taken away when I hear or read stories of these innocent children being violently killed by the person who is supposed to nurture, love and protect them.?It makes me ask this: “Why?” Why would a mother, a woman, be compelled to go against the most prominent of instincts? It is the instinct of caring for one’s own young. How could she do such an unspeakable act?
My thought is they are either mentally ill or so clinically depressed they are unable to reach out for help. Perhaps they are embarrassed by the fact that they are having difficulties handling motherhood. Something is biologically wrong within them and due to either being left undiagnosed or misdiagnosed, they see no way out other than murder.
Perhaps there is more. Perhaps they don’t have any mental illness and the stresses of life aren’t spinning out of control. Perhaps they feel completely isolated.
Motherhood is the toughest job anyone could ever do.?The day-to-day requirements of parenting can be overwhelming, exhausting and isolating. Yet, as women, we feel we must never speak about how sad we sometimes feel about the enormous responsibility accompanying parenthood.
The majority of women feel they must always be on top of the game, that they have it all together, and there is nothing better than being a mom. Perhaps the lack of acknowledgement of depression only feeds the isolation these women feel. I do not doubt they love their children and as a mother you just do, at least on some level. Our society has become so consumed with an image of perfection: an image of the perfect soccer mom, employee or employer and perfect homemaker.
Those who do not feel they fit inside the mold seem to snap, and the cost is innocent children. There has to be a way for women to seek help without feeling the shame of wishing for just one day that they didn’t have children.
Many women need to be given the permission to have moments of not wanting the responsibilities of motherhood, even for just a moment when there was complete chaos. Many women remember when they could go to the bathroom by themselves, and their boobs pointed north, and they could let it out that they didn’t like being mothers.
Even though you knew you were stressed, and that moment would pass, you were able to voice it. I feel that if in that moment women could let it out, scream it from the rooftop if need be, then they would let it go and be able to relax into the joy and triumphs of motherhood instead of allowing it to fester like cancer eating away at the fiber of the soul. As we have seen far too many times, the end result is a needless, senseless?murder that will be regretted forever.