The Renegade Rip

Parties suck, have a kickback

Tyler Goucher, Reporter

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Aw, another eventful Saturday night in the happening town of Bakersfield … not! Just like the weekend before and the weekend before that, what starts out as promising plans turn into a struggle to find some place to go before the liquor stores stop selling alcohol.

Welcome to Bako nightlife.

A text always shows up on my phone with either an address or someone asking if I know of an address. After hours of figuring out where we’re going and what we are going to do when we get there, we finally make a decision and designate someone to be the driver for the night.

Of course, the first address we show up to, it isn’t even a house. The whole condo community is flooded with cars blasting loud ignorant music and drunken people walking around aimlessly.

The unfortunate conclusion we end up coming to is that this party has no women. This normally wouldn’t stop us from going in anyway to check it out, but the host of the party was charging $3 a head to get in. Statistically, parties that charge an entrance fee are doomed to end early one way or another.

It’s a good thing we decided to leave because a fight broke out among the crowd, prompting the owner of the condo to kick everyone out. What a great way to make money on the weekends. Throw a huge party in a not-so huge condo and charge $3 to get in, all while having the intentions to stage a “fight” in order to stop the party early.

After leaving, we decided to head in the complete opposite direction, to a friend’s house, so that we could at least drink and play beer pong. This happens like clockwork most weekends.

The night goes on to turn into a pleasant kickback with close friends and acquaintances … and alcohol, lots of alcohol.

Most of the time is spent in the kitchen, where beer pong is set up on the center island and people on the sidelines are playing various drinking games.

The backyard is, of course, designated for smokers and tokers.

And yes, there was plenty of “toking” going on as well.

Hours go by as the crowd dies down and people begin passing out. When the music stops, it’s time to go.

After saying our goodbyes, we secure a safe way back home. Along the way, we stop at Del Taco to satisfy our long overdue munchies.

Not to say that this wasn’t a fun night, it was just not what we expected, and it never is.

One thing is for sure, when you have great friends, alcohol, and a big house, you’re going to have a good time.

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Parties suck, have a kickback