Divorce the Bacon Shake now

Divorce the Bacon Shake now

Nathan Wilson

Jack in the Box’s new bacon milkshake ruins a great American classic.

Martin Chang, Opinions Editor

Ever have one of those days that started out okay, not great, just okay, but then it gradually gets worse and worse until you are having an undeniably awful day? That is what drinking the Bacon Shake from Jack in the Box is like.

Jack in the Box has recently launched the Marry Bacon advertisement campaign with their trademark strange humor. The ads revolve around a character named Neal who is literally marrying bacon.

As a part of this campaign, they have released the Bacon Shake, the same sort of stunt that KFC pulled when they released the Double-Down, an item so strange it seemed like a joke. Yet their Bacon Shake is even stranger since the shake has no real bacon. It simply has bacon-flavored syrup, an ingredient that could only be created by a fast-food restaurant.

Looking at the shake, it looks like any other shake you might have at Jack in the Box. This was disappointing. A joke item like the Bacon Shake should have a garishly fun look with bright colors, and so you feel like you’re having a weird food item. After all, anyone ordering this item is doing so for the shock or strangeness of it, not to have an actually pleasant food experience.

It is actually really hard to mess up what a shake is. It’s basically drinking ice cream with an added milky punch. It’s the perfect dessert. The shake part of the Bacon Shake is actually pretty good. Jack in the Box is proud to have real ice cream in their shakes and it shows.

But then that bacon-flavored syrup comes into to play. The syrup has a vague taste of a generic pork product. Not really bacon, but a weird, sort of meaty, flavor. Yet it also has this really strong smoky taste that is very unpleasant. It’s hard to imagine the syrup tasting good on anything. It definitely doesn’t go good with what would otherwise be a pretty good shake.

Yet when I first started drinking the shake, the syrup was easy to ignore. The taste of it was not that strong. It basically tasted like a smoky shake. The syrup wasn’t adding anything to the flavor, but it didn’t overshadow the shake.

But as I kept drinking it, and as the shake melted, the bacon taste started to bother me more.

The smell and aftertaste of the syrup became more intolerable. The horrible syrup filled my senses. I tasted it in my mouth, smelled it on my fingers and felt a rumbling in my stomach that I knew wasn’t right.

What started out as a good shake with a little weird taste became an all-out attack on my body, especially my stomach. Hours later, I still felt a sense of unease in my stomach.

The aftertaste of that weird, smoky flavor lingered and lingered much longer then anyone would want. I wish I hadn’t ordered the thing.

So what was once a delectable, classic dessert is now a regretful decision with added flavor that not only doesn’t add to the item, but also actually destroys any appeal that the item once had.

A classic American milkshake is now disgusting. That bacon-flavored syrup is really, really bad.