Some people may need to do some landscaping after 37 trees were chopped down in the downtown Bakersfield area the evening of March 30. All 37 of the trees were cut down with the use of a hand ax and had a small piece of flannel fabric nailed to the stump, according to police reports.
This is the third attack on trees in Bakersfield, the first being the decimation of Hart Park on Feb. 15 and then the uprooting of trees in seven new housing developments in the northwest March 8.
The National American Association of Architects took responsibility for these crimes March 31. “We want our voices heard and our work appreciated,” said Oliver Harrison, president of NAAA. “The millions of dollars invested and countless hours spent working on the structures of this world cannot go unnappreciated.”
NAAA hired out lumberjacks from all over North America to perform similar acts of destruction of property throughout the continent with 388 reported cases in Canada, 212 in Mexico and 592 cases in the United States. Currently, 12 lumberjacks are being held in custody by the Bakersfield Police Department for destruction of property.
Lumberjack Eli Bartrenowski, 33, says that the jail time he serves only helps his cause. “Trees belong in forests. If greedy people want to experience the joy of trees without the hardships of undeveloped land, they’ll have to deal with us.”
The NAAA headquarters, formerly centered in Philadelphia, moved to a compound on a man-made island off the coast of Colombia in December 2008. The organization has taken a hostile stance against environmentalist groups.
“There is no reason to go planting these overgrown weeds to save the environment,” said Harrison. “We’ve made our buildings more ‘green’ like these hippies wanted so why should we have to cover them up?”
Liam Greenburg, secretary of the Wildlife and Environmental Envisioning Department, says that WEED hopes for a chance to compromise with NAAA before the situation escalates. “The happiness that green can bring can’t be substituted by something manmade,” Greenburg said.
Greenburg’s office has attempted to make contact with the leaders of NAAA to no avail. Currently, the federal government is communicating with Colombian officials about extraditing NAAA members to the United States.