Pigs don’t play fair at the fair

J. R. Hensley, Reporter

At the Kern County Fair, one can peruse the eclectic sights and sounds like the collection of antique cigarettes, someone’s pictures from their vacation submitted for consideration as art or the random gadget offered up to make one’s life easier. However, there are certain things that seem to come only with the fair, and that is animal races.At no additional charge, one could have seen the wondrous sights of duck, turkey or pig racing. Each event claimed their breed of sport was world famous. The Wild West Turkey Race even had a national sponsor with Subway. After taking volunteers from the audience for a quick side competition in turkey calling, one could have won a $5 gift card to the sandwich shop.The Great American Duck Race pit four mallards against each other in a series of five races. The volunteer, holding their racer, would wait at the edge of a long pool, divided into four lanes. At the sound of the duck call by the host, Robert Duck, the waterfowl would take off down the lane toward the wading pool at the other end. At the end, the winner in each heat competed against the other for a chance at the duck themed visor. Tension abounded.

While the duck races had new “athletes” each race, the All-Alaskan Pig Racing Pigs had eight racers vying for a spot as the top champion. One racer in particular, Soapy Smith, had the stakes raised and was tasked with jumping over a two-foot hurdle, only to show his true colors by cheating in his own competition.When asked for additional members of the audience to participate in cheering for one of the four racing pigs, the last chosen was Luke Skyporker, who turned out to be the true underdog. The purple clad porker won that 3:30 p.m. show.