Let me just preface this by saying: This review may get gross. How could it not? It’s about a face mask touted to remove black heads. The latest craze to cross my social networking feeds has been this particular mask. The videos are usually short and slow, where the user slowly peels back the black, hardened mask to remove a field of black heads. I was instantly intrigued, because I seriously suffer from a nose constantly filled with the things.

I’ve watched videos that show one how to concoct one’s own with Elmer’s glue and some charcoal, however, I am not a DIY kind of guy. So when the opportunity for me to purchase it came up, I did so immediately. I bought the “Intense Charcoal Blackhead Peel” mask from Parker for Men, based out of Australia. The purchase price was around $32 Australian. The exchange put me around $25 and some change. I even messaged the company on Twitter with some snarky remark about it being for my husband, to which they replied, “We will get this to you immediately.” When it arrived, my husband, our roommate, and I sat down to watch “Drag Race” and test it out. The instructions say to dry and clean the desired area before applying to the skin.

After 20 to 30 minutes, once the mask has dried, the user is instructed to remove it. Me being a sucker for instruction, I was dismayed it didn’t explain if it’s meant to be done so fast or slow. Once the three of us removed the slick patches from our faces we examined the objects within. For our roommate and myself, we excavated nothing. However, I learned I had a good number of tiny little hairs on my nose that were excruciating to remove. My husband on the other hand had two. I was annoyed. What happened to the mine field of dirt and oil beacons I was promised? Mine were still safe in their cozy little pores.So I chalk it up to two separate reasons: one, it is a terrible craze product that doesn’t do what it’s expected to accomplish, or two, my brand of black head isn’t made for mask removal. For further analysis, I tried the mask one more time before delivering my final verdict. Maybe I didn’t put enough on and removed it too quickly in my excitement to see the easy extraction. On my second attempt, I slathered the mask on so much it was oozing down the tip of my nose, forming this frozen-in-time teardrop. I looked like some other worldly villain. After the allotted time, I removed the mask to find myself once again filled with disappointment. There on the sea of matte black was a single, solitary black head. Additionally, in lieu of the tiny little hairs was a layer of skin, leaving my nose scaly. Alas, this is much like all of the other miracle cures thrown onto the peoples of the world over history.