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Post Malone’s “Stoney” is as bland and underwhelming as his personality

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Post Malone’s “Stoney” is as bland and underwhelming as his personality




Paige Atkison, Reporter

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Post Malone’s debut album, “Stoney” is receiving much attention over a year after its release. The album garnered attention after Malone released specific songs from the album as singles. However, Malone’s success is largely undeserved.

“Stoney” though marketed as a rap album, contains almost no rap. Malone simply dips his toes into the waters of rap music; his version of rapping consists of speaking poorly-conceptualized lyrics into the microphone while the sound engineer drowns Malone’s vocals in auto-tune.

The album begins with a song entitled “Broken Whiskey Glass,” a pathetic and drone ode to drug abuse and alcoholism that sets the tone for rest of the songs to follow. Malone’s lyrics feign depth, but are in reality a farcical exploration of existentialism. Though Malone would like to paint himself as a soulful musician processing his emotions through song, the music he produces is devoid of meaning. Rather than exploring and challenging the common negative thought processes caused by depression, Malone simply indulges his negative thoughts.

It is this immoderate self-indulgence that makes Malone’s album truly unbearable. The album continually glorifies drug abuse and alcoholism while simultaneously painting Malone as an impotent bystander enduring much suffering. However, the suffering Malone alludes to is never characterized as the result of his own actions. Instead, Malone casts all of his hardships onto the shoulders of his former girlfriends and “haters,” which is to say, people who are not his fans. The song “No Option” perfectly exemplifies Malone’s victim complex as he spends the entire song venting his frustration regarding the existence of his critics.

Malone highlights his perceived victimhood throughout the album, which could perhaps provide the listener with a sense of banal comfort if Malone’s vocalizations were not so weak.

Malone dances around the notes rather than simply singing them and his inconsistent warbling is even more noticeable with the use of auto-tune. I can only assume his warbling is a failed attempt at vibrato.

Sadly, the album’s lyrics are just as lacking as Malone’s vocals. Malone repeatedly refers to the women in his life using derogatory terms. The song “I Fall Apart” perfectly exemplifies this in that Malone refers to his former girlfriend as a “devil in the form of a whore.”

Beyond being derogatory and lazy, Malone’s lyrics are simplistic and infuriatingly repetitive. The eleventh song of the album, “Too Young,” is as repetitive as it is incoherent. The last phrases of the majority of the lines are repeated multiple times throughout the song, and a significant amount of the “lyrics” are the artists making gunshot sounds. It seems as if each irrelevant onomatopoeia is met with an equally useless “ooh,” “ahh,” and “ayy’s.”

Malone’s album leaves the listener wanting; wanting your wasted time back, wanting to flush your ears with saline, and wanting to forget whine and drone ringing in your ears.

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8 Responses to “Post Malone’s “Stoney” is as bland and underwhelming as his personality”

  1. NEZTOK on April 16th, 2018 10:20 am

    Are you baked? Post Malone’s new album is supposed to come out in a couple of weeks that have songs you’ve heard for the past year… ie, Rockstar and Psycho. I love Stoney… not sure why you’re ripping his old album now. I think Post is an idiot and probably will be dead by 30 so leave the man alone.

  2. Chelsea on April 17th, 2018 10:22 am

    You’re a little late on the album review and completely wrong? His obvious success is proof and you’re literally a year late on commenting on the album? The new one comes out in days? Obviously those that matter gave him enough credit to continue creating new music. This is actually laughable.

  3. bakofako on April 19th, 2018 7:16 am

    i believe the reviews on here jumped too quick to give such negative feedback. the article clearly states the amount of time the album has been released and its popularity. then she goes on to describe why his career and success was so undeserving. he didn’t put in a whole lot of intellect or positivity in his work, it was a winey album about a guy who wants to flex harder than what he is. there are like only two songs that have a catchy sound that was deteriorated by his lyrics and the sound guy’s cover up.

  4. Rebecca on April 19th, 2018 7:07 pm

    This was extremely insightful and a great take on Post Malone. Your disfavor of him is not without valid reasoning. I like that you point out his simultaneous victim complex and derogatory treatment of women. I don’t understand how an artist with nothing redemptive as him is making it. Thank you for posting.

  5. Dave Whithers on June 2nd, 2018 6:19 am

    Go try and make an album yourself, and I’ll review it.

  6. KOLOPOTO on June 26th, 2018 8:52 am

    Im sorry,but your negative outtake on the whole album,clearly shows the conservatism of this review.Even though Post isnt putting anything new into the music industry,he revolutionises those sweet,simple melodies and puts his perception into the songs.Classifying him as a rapper is an understatement,as he is much more than just a cliche rapper with offending lines towards girls.The artist has said many times that he likes all types of music,and doesnt understand people who stick to only one genre.As for his lyrical abillity i feel that putting your whole emotional self,regarding the drug use addiction is something hard enough and what is even more respectful is the way Malone is expressing his struggles through understandable language,that surely makes other people feel empathy towrads him…poor of you

  7. amanda brian on August 11th, 2018 5:48 pm

    What is wrong with some people?
    Post Malone is probably doing better and succeeding much more than you ever will in your entire life.
    He’s living his best life and if you don’t like that, keep the comments to yourself because he is a legend in most people’s eyes

  8. Rolando Rivas on February 3rd, 2019 2:18 pm

    I am sorry, but i had such a fucking hard time reading this review. Youre a fucking goof buddy

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Post Malone’s “Stoney” is as bland and underwhelming as his personality